Transported to Heaven - or maybe Hexham?

Having had a couple of days off work – use them or lose them – I’ve taken the opportunity to finish off a number of modelling projects.  The Iveco car transporter project had the final touches applied this morning, and I’m rather pleased with the results.  I plan to set up a proper photo session later on, but in the meantime here’s a couple of pictures to get started.  To do the vehicle justice, and to be prototypically accurate, I really need to set up the truckstop diorama and have the lorry parked up as I kill time (observe EU tachograph laws) with a coffee and pack of Custard Creams.

The next stage is to acquire some rather more suitable cars – the sort of junk, sorry, ‘quality, previously cosseted automobiles of distinction’ – that we generally cart around the country, and make up a small diorama to display the truck.  It will need weathering given that it only gets washed a couple of times a year.  We’re a very environmentally aware concern, and don’t wish to waste water on a weekly basis on a vehicle that will promptly go out and get scruffy again.  The fact that we all just want to get off home sharpish on a Friday night is purely coincidental.

For comparison purposes, here is the inspiration that was behind this project; my real life Iveco transporter:

This truck has not had a happy time lately, as I’ve mentioned previously, but following two successive visits to a proper mechanic in Doncaster many of the issues that caused so many problems and breakdowns have been sorted out.  Indeed I took it out on Friday to Loughborough, Mansfield and Wakefield with a final blast back down the A1, and was amazed with its performance.  It still has its limitations, of course – a 180 bhp engine is woeful when you’re picking up 4x4’s and people carriers, but nevertheless, I noticed a considerable improvement in overall performance during the day.

Of course, there’s a sting in the tail, apropos the model.  Because the Iveco is now working well, and I submitted a good report about Friday’s performance, the boss has decided that the truck is worth holding onto for a while – so it has been booked to receive our new company vinyls to match the rest of the fleet!



From trucks to trains, and the lengthy project to respray the Contikits ‘N’ gauge train has finally reached fruition.  Having a loco and 8 coaches to paint up and decorate with company livery and logo decals wasn’t the most fun I’ve ever had, and became a bit of a chore towards the end.  I still can’t see more than 2 feet in front of my face after squinting at numerous tiny decals, and this post has been submitted in Braille.

Still, bar a couple of minor touch ups, the train is complete and ready for despatch.

Transporter of Delight - Update

The Iveco transporter continues to forge along, unlike its real life counterpart that once again is in bits up at Doncaster, much to the dismay of the mechanics who are trying to bolt it back together again. Presumably our accountants are also eagerly awaiting the subsequent bill with much enthusiasm. Still, that’s what happens when you have it ‘serviced’ for three years by an alleged mechanic who struts about his yard in cowboy boots and a Stetson. Yee hah!

The model is coming along nicely with most parts complete, so time for an update on the story:

Chassis Unit

The Actros and Iveco components have been seamlessly joined, if you don’t look too closely. The engine is nice and clean, but to maintain a degree of authenticity, I’m not changing any filters until 2012. The ladder glued to the front bumper is to allow access to the front overhang of the top deck, although it rarely sees any use as you need to be a cross between a contortionist and high wire trapeze act to strap down cars at this point.

Cab Bodyshell

Awaiting decals. That’s it.

Body Decks

This wasn’t the easiest of paint jobs, given the amount of nooks and crannies that managed to avoid each successive coat of paint. As the lorry is a UK model I had to add safety rails to the top deck, because that nice Emma at Health & Safety is worried that I’ll fall off the side – presumably roll off in my sleep when taking forty winks in the summer. We don’t call it the sun deck for nothing, you know.

Trailer

The original trailer was a double-decker, but we don’t have any of those, and just use single deck trailers like this. Not that I can actually use them, given the enthusiasm of the Nottinghamshire DVLA to find fault with my class one driving skills. Driving too close to parked cars – my arse. Hitting a car is too close. Missing it is a success story is in my book. And given that I was in narrow high street lanes at the time, if I’d strayed over the white line for a bit more space then no doubt I’d have been done for impeding the flow of traffic, which is what happened the previous bloody time! There’s just no pleasing Civil Servant box tickers these days. As my instructor told me after the last attempt, “You have no problem handling or driving the truck. You just can’t pass the test!” Surely one should cancel out the other? But not in the world of pen-pushers, it would seem. Anyway, I’ll leave that there, or it might just come across as sour grapes. Which I’d be happy to deliver to the DVLA for Christmas, but only in a rigid.

Where was I? Oh yes, the trailer - consequently a bit of surgery was required. A nice touch is the separate loading ramps, which can just been seen poking out the rear, painted aluminium. The correct numberplate for the Iveco has been added as well.

Cab Interior

Home from home. It looks a bit messy, but I’m assuming that I’ve just come back to it after a day off, and Carl took it out yesterday. Yes, there’s a prototype for everything. I followed the real thing as closely as possible, hence the tan coloured seats, driver in company colours and various detailing bits, such as my workbag, flask on the dash and the red battery charger for starting cars with flat batteries (most of them). Items such as the road atlas, hi-viz jacket hanging on the rear bulkhead (I don’t wear it as it doesn’t match my outfit), newspapers, clipboard and paperwork come from the excellent Ten Commandments HGV detailing pack. The same pack also provided the tax disc and operators licence that are attached to the windscreen, an incredibly fiddly job, but really makes a difference to the completed model.

All that’s left is applying the decals that I knocked up using Crafty Computer Papers’ waterslide decals – however, I’m waiting for the delivery of varnish before this can be accomplished.

Cut, Shunt and Vote For Your Favourite Dancer

It’s been a hectic time on the Grumpy workbench.  The buildings that I mentioned below have been painted up and despatched to Warley Exhibition with The Apprentice on Saturday morning for display on the Ten Commandments stand.  I’m no fan of Warley at all; it’s too big, too busy and crowded so that you can’t see anything and it costs around a tenner to leave your car in a carpark somewhere in Somerset – leaving you with the choice of a hike that Sir Ranulph Fiennes would think twice about, or a bus ride with 150 bobble hats, none of whom have ever watched a Lynx commercial and thought, ‘Eh up, deodorant -what a great idea!  Not only will I smell nice, some bird will drop her knickers for me.’  Or have I misinterpreted the ad?  Of course, this could easily backfire at Warley, and Pete Waterman would drop his … no, no, no, let’s not go there.  Anyway, based on bitter and aromatic previous experiences, I decided not to go.  Other duties beckoned over the weekend – a trip to the Nene Valley that I cancelled due to inclement weather conditions (fair weather photographer and proud of it) and Christmas shopping, after Zoë Ball cheerfully woke me up with the news that the great event is a mere 34 days away.  In case you’re wondering, Zoë was on Radio 2.  She didn’t bring me my Weetabix in person and casually drop Christmas into the conversation.  Maybe next year.

Modelling has made good progress lately, and along with the buildings I’ve now got umpteen coats of primer and gloss white onto the Contikits train, ready for application of the livery itself.  I’ve also made progress with the car transporter, seeing as I had the aerosols out.

The chassis of the Actros truck has been cut, and the Iveco artic unit underframe has had similar treatment in order that I can cut-and-shunt the Iveco cab onto the truck itself.  Joining the two bits together was tricky, as there wasn’t much material to work with, but it seems to be holding so far.  I just hope that I measured everything correctly, as there’s no going back now.  I usually measure after I’ve cut and discovered that the parts don’t fit.  The basic body and chassis components have been primed and painted into company colours – fortunately we have a pretty basic livery that is easy to reproduce.  My boss has helped me out here, because he won’t pay to have my Iveco done up in our flash new company vinyls, which would be a bugger to make and fit as they’re the wraparound variety.  Consequently, all I need to create are some straightforward lettering sets.  The boss doesn’t see any return on spending five grand on a truck that breaks down every fortnight.  My argument that if I’m stuck on the A1 causing a 12 mile tailback, then why not get the company name out there as free advertising doesn’t seem to have gone down particularly well.   Especially as I’ve altered the contact telephone number on the cab, so when people ring up to complain or make enquiries, they find that they’ve voted to keep Ali Bastion on Strictly for another week.

I’m not entirely as daft as I look.

Transporter of Delight

Whilst digging around for materials to use on ‘The Plank’, I came across this car transporter I purchased a while ago from Contikits. It bears similarities to the vehicle that I drive at work, so it is an ideal project to work on.

However, in order to replicate my own vehicle, I need to change the Mercedes Benz cab to that from an Iveco Cargo. Fortunately, I just happen to have a tractor unit of an Iveco lying around, so I have now earmarked these vehicles for a bit of ‘bashing’ during the summer, and aim to have the completed lorry ready for display at Peterborough exhibition.


As well as a cab transplant, the bodywork needs a respray into our company dark blue, as well as creating a set of decals for the logo using the techniques in my previous post: A Crafty Way to Create Waterslide Decals. To complete the effect, a load of second hand cars all ready to go to auction will be loaded onboard – and if I use Herpa cars, the value will be around the same!